Monday, May 9, 2011

Oh yeah, I'm engaged!

It seems like eons ago that Dave got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife.  He left for Scotland within days of proposing, and then as soon as he got back I'd already plunged myself into the final events leading up to my sister's wedding (which was a blasty-blast, by the way!).  The only thing I've done to get ready for our nuptials is pick a venue and set a date.  So much time has gone by since then that "being engaged" seems more like a state of mind than a contract that actually involves me to take any action to fullfill.  It was beginning to feel as though if I just waited long enough, the planets would naturally align and one day I would simply wake up married without having gone through any fuss.  This delusion only last until my sister's bridal shower, when I overheard  a few of her friends, who by the way all got engaged about a month after me, were gushing with excitement over their upcoming engagement parties.  It occurred to me that perhaps I should be doing something.

Dave and I had gone back and forth many times over whether or not we should have an engagement party.  We hadn't wanted to have a long engagement to begin with, which was one of the reasons why we didn't see the need for one.  However, when going over all of our date options and realizing that the only way this wedding would ever happen was to time it a year and a half away, suddenly an engagement party didn't seem so pointless.  Unfortunately, Dave's departure for the UK didn't leave us with enough time to get the whole thing together, and his return cut it way too close to Stephanie's wedding to have one when he got back.  Now that he's home and settled, and Steph's wedding is done, and there are no obstacles left standing in the way of having a celebration, the reality is it's been almost SIX MONTHS since our betrothal; is it pointless to have an engagement party at this point? 

Although part of me is still a bit uneasy about it, the louder, more dominant part of me is excited to finally be doing something!  It was beginning to worry me that every now and then I'd forget I'm engaged; people just don't ask about it as often anymore, and my life has gotten too busy to daydream about my eventual wedding like I used to.  Even my beloved ring no longer grabs my attention as it once did; while once upon a time I would lose myself in gazing at it while I procrastinated grading papers, I've now instead taken to mindlessly twirling it in circles around my finger when I'm nervous (something for which my sister is constantly yelling at me).  Perhaps this was my subconscious sending out a message that my brain would rather be planning a party and my future married life than grading practice MCAS open reponses.

Planning an engagement party has given me an opportunity (now that I have the time for it) to get excited again, to even look forward to all the work I know I'm soon going to have to put into planning the real wedding.  This is because planning an engagement party is basically like planning a mini-wedding.  You need a venue, a DJ, centerpieces, favors, blah-blah-blah, etcetera.  The only difference is everything is on a smaller scale.  The guest list is limited to strict family and close friends; the DJ need only play music, relieved of the pressure to guilt the guests into dancing to prove their love for the bride and groom; there are lots of pictures to take, but digital cameras take the place of a formal photographer.  And so forth.  You get the idea.

Thus far we've picked the date, the venue, the invitation, the centerpieces, and the favors.  More on these traumatizing decisions to come soon.  Stay tuned!